FOOD FOR THOUGHT :O)

An Excerpt from
The 100/0 Principle
by Al Ritter

What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? It’s The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.

Implementing The 100/0 Principle is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.

The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends.

STEP 1 – Determine what you can do to make the relationship work…then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.

STEP 2 – Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.

STEP 3 – Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don’t take the bait.

STEP 4 – Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don’t respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.

At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the “Knower” and shift to being the “Learner.” Avoid Knower statements/ thoughts like “that won’t work,” “I’m right, you are wrong,” “I know it and you don’t,” “I’ll teach you,” “that’s just the way it is,” “I need to tell you what I know,” etc.

Instead use Learner statements/thoughts like “Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation,” “I could be wrong,” “I wonder if there is anything of value here,” “I wonder if…” etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!

Principle Paradox

This may strike you as strange, but here’s the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR


The Uncle Earl

"In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can." - Nikos Kazantzakis The art of success begins first within your heart, no better example to attain this claim than the man of many talents that we have come to know thru the years in the industry as Lacy Darryl Phillips. Lacy Darryl Phillips aka THE UNCLE EARL, an Award Winning American Recording Artist, Songwriter, Producer, Actor, Radio Personality & DJ. President of Earl Hitz Records, a NYC label created to embrace the sounds of house, dance, electronic pop, and funk music. As an avid culture curator of performance & music for the world, he wanted to pay homage by creating "The New Paradise Garage Experience". He is also the Creator/Producer of Ultimate Underground, Host/DJ of his weekly radio show, The Ultimate Underground Experience now celebrating it’s 9th successful anniversary. Lacy Darryl Phillips has a career in the entertainment industry which spans four decades, in the disciplines of acting, singing, dancing, directing, choreography, and songwriting. He has worked with recording artists, such as Mariah Carey, Lauryn Hill, Vanessa Williams, Grace Jones, Sheena Easton, Peabo Bryson, CeCe Peniston, James Ingram, Lou Rawls, The Bette Davis, Debbie Allen, Ray Chew, Randy Jackson, N.W.A. (Dr. Dre & Eazy-E), Jimmy Z., and Lonnie Gordon, among others. Past performances include: The Triad (NYC), House Of Yes (Brooklyn, NY), Coney Island Baby (NYC), Gold Sounds (Brooklyn, NY), Friars Club (NYC), The Delancey (NYC), Madison Street Theater (Chicago), Jazzmobile Summerfest (NYC), Marcus Garvey Park (NYC), JCC Manhattan (NYC), Broadway Sings For Pride (NYC), Gay Pride Festival (NYC), The Landmark (LA).